shame spiral

June 8, 2020

Like a lot of folks, this pandemic lockdown has me withdrawing into myself more than I typically do. And I'm an introvert, so that's saying something! I've been sad, felt isolated, lazy, uninspired and all those things. I lost my day job because of COVID-19 restrictions. I feel badly that I haven't been able to put out episodes every Tuesday like I had been doing pre-pandemic. Every OTHER week just had to be enough. It's been hard connecting with people and it's been hard to talk about things going on when there's NOTHING GOING ON.

But here we are. Tomorrow's episode is one of the most important ones I've done. On the heels of the murder of George Floyd and the understandable uproar, I solicited testimonials from local people of color, focused on their experiences with being black in Holly Springs. I wish I'd been able to share more, really. I did the intro and then just stopped talking. The heartfelt words from each contributor needed to be the focus.

I am using the inspiration of the contributors to this episode to dig myself out of this funk I've been in for the past two months.

I'm more dedicated than ever to helping unite the community and engage as many of us as possible. This podcast can be a great source of Holly Springs news and community information.

I love suggestions from listeners for new topic ideas! Send them to me at

Black Lives Matter!

People DO Get It!

March 18, 2020

Something happened yesterday that I'm trying to process.

A listener sent me an anonymous donation - as a patron - because my podcast helped him or her feel normal in this time of extreme change and anxiety. They said that they valued the podcast so much that they wanted to make sure I could "keep up the good work" that they feel like I'm doing. They went on to say that they enjoyed the imperfection of it all - the lack of a slick, over-the-top production value that would ultimately feel contrived and overdone. They knew that my aim all along was for Holly Springs Deep Dive listeners to feel like they were right with me during the interviews, sitting on the couch in their office or at a table at Our Moments in Time or at Eggs Up Grill, or in the "Room of Requirement" in my own home. And they felt exactly that, and understood why I do the podcast the way I do it.

To my unnamed first-ever patron, I thank you for the cash infusion AND for getting it. It makes my heart warm. <3

Getting Out of Your Own Way

March 7, 2020

After moving to the Holly Springs area from another town in North Carolina in 2013, my family knew right away that things People are nicer. The surroundings are prettier. If you live here, you know what I mean.

Once my kids got on the same school calendar - thanks for not helping out on that one, WCPSS - it was time for me to get a job. It took some work to find one; after all, I didn't know what in the world to do after primarily being a stay-at-home-mom for so many years. I ultimately landed a part-time job at the Holly Springs Chamber of Commerce and spent just over four years there. I worked for three different directors. I saw things. I learned things. I met people. Lots of people.

During that job, an idea sparked - how could Holly Springs residents find out what was going on here in town? The Raleigh media certainly doesn't cover us unless someone gets shot or something else equally sensational. The best we can hope for is a mention of us if there's a traffic jam on the bypass. But how are we to hear about local people doing great things or issues that impact US, or candidates running for office HERE? This is where I learned the term "news desert." Holly Springs is one.

Someone needed to do something. And the scariest thought in the world popped into my head: what if that someone was ME?

I didn't know how to run a business, but I knew people who did and what resources were available.

I wasn't running for office, but I knew people who were.

I didn't know the inner workings of the Town of Holly Springs departments, but I knew the directors of those departments.

I didn't operate a nonprofit, but I knew people who did.

I applied to be in the second cohort of the small business incubator program Launch Holly Springs. I got in, because they thought my idea for a podcast was a good one. I graduated from the program in the Spring of 2019, and my fellow students thought my idea for a podcast was a good one. Then it was time.

But understand, this was all so scary. Who was *I*, after all? Really.

It turns out you can do a lot of things when you get out of your own way. Decide to invest in expensive equipment. Decide to ask for that interview. Put out your work so anyone anywhere in the world can listen. IT'S SO SCARY to put your name out there, putting yourSELF out there to potentially be ridiculed or made fun of, or thought to be a &#^$*% idiot by the masses. Publishing my first episode was one of the most vulnerable I'd felt in so long. Ask my Launch Holly Springs classmates; they coddled and encouraged me all along the way. I watched the Dr. Brene Brown pep talk "The Call to Courage" on Netflix and I took her advice to heart. When I published, nothing horrible happened.

I've met new people. I'm more confident that this idea was a good one. I'm more engaged in the community. All GOOD things. I was so worried about what could happen that I realized that all I was thinking was of the BAD things. The podcast even received the "Director's Award for Innovation and Entrepreneurship" from the Holly Springs Chamber of Commerce!

So, my advice here is clear: do the thing. Get out of your own way. Don't go crazy; do prepare, study, vet, think, and all those things, but don't for a SINGLE MINUTE delay if you have a good idea or want to live your life in a new way.

You can do it!